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Breaking Free from Fear

Updated: 3 days ago



Managing Your Fear and Anxiety So It Doesn’t Manage You




Moving forward
Finding Strength In Fear and Anxiety

We all have dreams and aspirations, goals we yearn to achieve, and lives we envision for ourselves. Yet, there's one formidable force that can hold us back, keeping us trapped in a state of inaction, anxiety, stress, and unfulfilled potential: Fear


Fear isn’t just for scary movies or haunted houses. Fear is a natural human emotion that is designed to protect us from danger. When fear becomes excessive or irrational, it can paralyze us, stop us from taking necessary steps towards growth and fulfillment, and lead to pervasive thoughts and feelings of anxiety. It's important to recognize what fears might be holding you back and learn how to overcome them so you feel less stressed, empowered, and more fulfilled in your present and future.


Common Fears That Hinder Our Progress:

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Fear of Not Being Good Enough: This fear manifests as self-doubt, imposter syndrome, and the belief that we lack the skills or qualities to achieve our goals. It can lead to procrastination, self-sabotage, and missed opportunities.


Fear of Failure: This fear can be so overwhelming that it prevents us from even trying, which often leads to feeling more stuck. We worry about making mistakes, being judged, or disappointing others. It can lead to a cycle of avoidance and missed opportunities for growth.


Fear of Success: Surprisingly, success can also trigger fear. We might worry about the increased responsibility, the changes it might bring to our lives, or the pressure to maintain our achievements. This fear can lead to self-sabotage and playing small.


Fear of Pain: While a natural fear, the fear of pain, whether mental or physical, can become all-consuming, leading to tension and avoidance of living a full life. It can prevent us from taking risks, embracing new experiences, and making the most of our time. Pain anxiety can lead to actually manifesting the pain we are trying to avoid and stop us from having the life we want.


Fear of the Unknown: It's easy to get caught up in the "what ifs" and anxieties about the future. When we allow fear to dominate us, we may over plan, overthink, and become so distracted that we can’t see solutions. By trying to focus on that crystal ball we miss opportunities for growth, valuable life experiences, and genuine connection in the present moment.


Fear of Losing Control: Many of us try to control our environment as a way to feel safe. When things feel out of control, we can feel less secure, vulnerable, and may engage in thoughts or behaviors that are harmful in an attempt to feel in control. This can include obsessing, ruminating, lashing out or trying to manipulate others, over planning, or compulsive behaviors. We may have difficulty accepting that the only thing we can control is ourselves.


Fear of Rejection or Loneliness: Most of us want to be liked, accepted, and understood. When we worry too much about what others think of us or expect others to make us feel a certain way, we may undermine our self-esteem and become overly sensitive to criticism or rejection. These fears of rejection and being alone can lead to people-pleasing behaviors, difficulty in establishing boundaries, staying in unhealthy relationships, pushing others away as a way to protect ourselves, or trying to control others.


Overcoming Fear:


Accept and Acknowledge Your Fears: The first step is to identify and acknowledge what fears are holding you back. Once you're aware of them, you can start to address them. When we confront them, the less power they have over us. The more we deny our fears, the more control they hold over us which can lead to depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, and health problems. Acknowledging and accepting our fears can help us identify how to cope, which can improve emotional issues, self-esteem, and boost our immune system.


Challenge Your Negative Thoughts: Often, our ongoing fears are based on irrational thoughts and beliefs rather than real threats. Identify and challenge these thoughts/beliefs and replace them with more positive and empowering ones. Ask yourself, does this thought/belief help or hurt me? If they are no longer helping you, consider letting them go or changing them to something that empowers you rather than limits you. Prepare versus giving into the scare.


Take Small Steps: Don't try to overcome your fears all at once. Start by taking gradual and small steps outside your comfort zone. Each small victory can increase confidence, improve learning, and lead to more trust in succeeding. If you go too big too fast you may become overwhelmed, make mistakes, or question your decisions, leading to regret or anxiety. Take one step at a time.


Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, therapist, coach, valued coworker, or support group about your fears. They may be able to provide you with support, guidance, and encouragement. Consider asking your support system about how they have overcome their fears. It can help to know you are not alone. If someone in your life refuses to acknowledge fear, it’s probably a fear of their own vulnerability. Seek out others who are willing to be open and supportive and if your fear leads to intense anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, sleep issues, or other ongoing symptoms or difficulty in functioning, consult professional help.


Embrace Your Humanness: Somewhere along the way, you may have internalized the message that fear equates to weakness. However, those who have demonstrated true courage will often share that they, too, experience fear. Fear is a natural human emotion, and in appropriate doses, it can help us and teach us about ourselves and our environment. Consider what your fear might be telling you, how you can harness its energy, and what valuable lessons you can learn from it. To fear is to be human, but falling apart and giving into anxiety doesn’t have to be.


Avoid Fear-Mongering Outlets: The media thrives on sensationalism and fear to capture your attention, offering quick fixes and keeping you hooked for more. Take control of your information intake by limiting exposure to news and social media, and if you must watch, pay attention to what they are trying to sell you. Seek out positive news stories to balance the negativity if you must engage in with media. Also consider setting boundaries with those people in your life who amplify your anxieties, and seek out the people who help you deal with them.


Work With Fear: Tomorrow could be great, or tomorrow could be bad, so consider how you want to work with today. Would you rather work with someone who tries to understand you, or someone who tries to fight you? By understanding your fear, you can discover ways to work with it, rather than letting it work against you. The more you fight it the bigger it grows. What can you learn from your fear? How does it help you? How can it work for you? What will make you less fearful? How can you accept it? Fear can be a friend or an enemy, so consider making it your ally.


Remember, fear is a natural human emotion, but it doesn't have to dictate your life. You are capable of overcoming your fears and achieving your goals, even if it requires stepping outside your comfort zone. In fact, taking calculated risks and facing your fears often leads to increased growth and fulfillment. On the other hand, allowing fear to dominate your decisions can pave the way towards anxiety, depression, and a life filled with regrets. Don't let it hold you back from living the life you desire and consider working with it rather than against it. If you're struggling to manage your fears, consider working with a therapist to develop personalized coping strategies and reclaim your power. So, let's consider extending a friendly handshake to fear, learn how to work with it, and let fear help us have a more purposeful and enjoyable future.

 

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