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Rising from the Rubble: Finding Strength After Life's Most Devastating Storms

Updated: Oct 28



 

The storms of stress have parted, but in it’s wake the mental and physical devastation remains. Where once stood sturdy structures of confidence and hope, now lies scattered debris of pain, uncertainty, and sadness. Though the winds and rain have ceased, the internal wreckage persists. The storm's power and destruction may lead us to question the very foundations of our life and being.


Here are ten ways to cope with the expected and unexpected effects of life’s most difficult storms. Identify what applies to you and consider writing down how you can apply these reflections to your life right now.

 

A Moment of Silence. Give yourself a moment to acknowledge and appreciate what you have gone through. Whatever the source of your stress, acknowledge its effect. Take a moment to breathe and center yourself before taking action. Allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost or what you thought your life was going to be. Check in with your feelings and identify how they are affecting you. Addressing your pains will promote a better resolution rather than charging on and ignoring them.


Reflect: Take a deep breath. Acknowledge and appreciate your pain. How can you incorporate rest and relaxation into your current routine?

 

Accept The Aftermath: Once you’ve acknowledged your feelings the next step is to accept what you can and cannot control. Focusing too much on ‘what could have been’ will bring anger, sadness, and disappointment. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking what has happened to you but rather understanding and accepting that this is where your life is right now. Acknowledge your feelings, process them, and then make the commitment to work on moving forward. Choosing to lay in the storm drains won’t clear them any faster.


Reflect: What can I control? What do I need to accept this situation?

 

Could It Be Worst: Challenge yourself to consider how your situation could have been worse. Recognizing what we can be grateful for and how things could have been worse can bring us perspective. It doesn’t necessarily mean comparing ourselves to others but appreciating where we are at and what is good. I once heard the simplest gratitude saying, “I’m six feet about ground so today is a good day.” I’ve personally been inspired by the many people of Tampa Bay who have kept things in perspective and stayed grateful after hurricane Milton. They know it could've been worse so they appreciate what they have and could have lost.


Reflect: How could my situation have been worse? What can I be grateful for in this situation? How can I change my perspective?

 

Reassess Your Stress: Sometimes, it helps to put our pain into perspective. Try to visualize your current situation on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is manageable stress and 10 is completely overwhelming. This isn't about minimizing your feelings, but about gaining clarity. Recognizing where you fall on this scale can help you determine the level of support you need. Are you coping relatively well, or do you need to reach out for help? Your pain is valid, and recognizing where you stand may help you determine if you are doing better than you thought or if you need to seek support, which is a sign of strength, not weakness.


Reflect: Rate your pain/stressor. Is there a way to bring your pain/stressor down? How have you gotten through other pains before? How can you reframe this pain? If this is the worst pain you’ve experienced, what do you need to feel safe and supported?

 

Living In A Drama: It can be tempting to one-up your tragedy over others or dwell on the pain to give meaning and significance of what you went through. This could be a cry for help and support, a way to give significance to our struggles, or it could be a way of dwelling on pain as an excuse to not move on. Consider how heavy the badge of misery is and how it may be holding you back from making positive changes in your life. Do you want to be the hero who continues on the difficult path and conquers obstacles, or the wailing side character everyone wants to avoid?


Reflect: As the hero in your own story, how can you learn from your experience and keep moving forward? Identify if you are drowning in your pain and what you need to cope better.

 

Life’s Hard Lessons: Research shows that people feel better about their bad situation when they attribute meaning to it. When we can extract meaning and growth from difficult experiences, we reclaim a sense of agency. We shift from feeling like passive victims of circumstance to active protagonists in our own life stories. Consider seeing a life lesson in your struggle even if it’s difficult to find the meaning.


Reflect: What meaning can I find in this situation? What have I learned about myself in going through this? How can I have a survivor mentality?

 

Finding The Silver Lining In The Citrus Cloud. Consider if there is a way to find a positive or even enjoyment in this situation. I think of the recent video of the man having fun in the inner tube in his flooded parking lot. Silver linings from bad situations can include reconnecting with family or friends, getting to know new people, being knocked out of the monotony of life into a new challenge or opportunity, a change to worn out old routines to form new healthy ones, revisiting old hobbies or coping tools, or even just appreciation for what has been taken for granted. See if you can find the good in the situation now rather than waiting for hindsight.


Reflect: What good has come from this situation? How can I utilize this situation to my advantage? Is there a way to find a positive or enjoyment in this difficulty and how so?

 

No Rhyme Or Reason. Sometimes, life just deals us a difficult hand. It might feel unfair, but it's not necessarily a punishment or a cosmic conspiracy. Bad things happen to everyone at some point. The key is to accept that this difficulty is simply a part of life and focus on how you choose to respond. Dwelling on the "why" won't change the situation, but your actions can shape the outcome. This could mean learning from others who have dealt with a similar situation, remembering other bad situations you have endured in life and how you got through them, or being like an animal and just doing what you need to survive and thrive.


Reflect: Like Walt Disney’s quote, how can you “keep moving forward”? How have you coped before?

 

It’s Time To Redefine. Even though trauma and stress can leave deep wounds, they don’t need to define you. Healing is possible, and you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Redefine what your life can look like moving forward. Even though you’ve lost parts of yourself or what you had, recognize that life will get back to normal one day, there are good things that will come, and you can be a better stronger person. There’s a reason why some people flaunt their battle scars.


Reflect: How can I redefine myself and my life? What will be different in a good way? What are new fantasies you can have for your life?

 

Trauma Stuck. If you have experienced a trauma, whether a major or micro trauma, it can linger as a hidden burden that weighs upon your heart and mind. It might manifest as a persistent knot of anxiety in your stomach, a sudden flinch due to external stimuli, or an inability to truly connect with those around you. These lingering effects can hinder your ability to experience joy, peace, and genuine connection, leaving you feeling disconnected from yourself and the world. If you can’t move forward, consider getting help or trying Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) to break triggers and associations that don’t serve you. You don’t have to go at this alone.


Reflect: Am I stuck in my pain? Is it time to get professional help? How can I be more honest with myself and my support systems?

 

Navigating the wreckage of major life stressors is incredibly tough. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, lost, and tempted to numb the pain with unhealthy coping mechanisms. But even in the darkest moments, we have a choice. We can choose to acknowledge pain, seek healthy ways to cope, and reach out for support. The path of the survivor is not about denying struggles, but about actively engaging with them and finding ways to heal and grow. Remember, even heroes stumble, but they always find a way to rise again.


You have that strength too and I believe that you can find that hero within.



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