As a therapist, I've witnessed incredible resilience in clients who've endured immense pain. While forgiveness is often seen as the path to healing, it's not always the right fit.
For some, the act of forgiving their abusers feels insurmountable. That's okay.
Here's the truth: you can heal and move forward without forgiveness.
Owning Your Experience:
The first step is acknowledging what happened. Recognizing the injustice you faced validates your experience and allows you to reclaim your narrative. You may even want to try writing a new story where you choose to have the type of life you want.
Letting Go of the Burden:
Anger and resentment are natural responses to trauma. However, clinging to them can be like carrying a heavy backpack. Exploring ways to release this burden – through journaling, therapy, or creative expression – can lighten your load.
Taking Back Control:
The abuser may have taken something from you, but they can't control your present or future. You are the author of your story. By focusing on your own well-being, setting boundaries, and pursuing things that bring you joy, you reclaim power and happiness.
Finding Your Path:
Some survivors choose to forget the abuser entirely, removing them from their mental space. Others maintain a limited, healthy relationship with the person. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. Find what works best for you.
Healing Can Take Time:
This journey is yours alone. It won't happen overnight, but each step you take towards healing empowers you.
Or you can be like a goldfish, in the words of Ted Lasso, "You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. It has a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish".
Embrace Your Strength:
You are not defined by your past. You are a survivor! You are capable of building a future filled with peace and happiness.
Start today – you deserve it!