Get The Monkey Off Your Back!
- Kristin Keough Williams
- Sep 3
- 4 min read
Learn how to release things you don’t need.
It’s a feeling most of us know intimately. A tightness in the shoulders. A familiar heaviness in our chest. A sense of being perpetually braced for something, even when nothing is happening. We use a common phrase for it: “having a monkey on your back.”
The reality however is that it’s rarely just one monkey. For many of us, it’s a whole troop. They cling to our backs, chattering in our ears, making every step we take just a little bit harder. They are the accumulated weight of our worries, our past regrets, stressors, and our responsibilities. And they are exhausting.
But what if you didn’t have to carry them anymore? What if you could gently, lovingly, guide them away and reclaim your own lightness? Here’s how to swing off those heavy monkeys and find more lightness in your life:
Meet Your Personal Group of Monkeys
These burdens aren’t just vague “stress.” They are specific stories, cognitive distortions, and fears we carry. When we look closely, we start to recognize them. Maybe you have a few of these clinging to you right now:
The Monkey of “What If?”: This one is loud and anxious, constantly jabbering about future catastrophes that will likely never happen. It feeds on uncertainty and keeps you frozen in place.
The Monkey of “Should Have”: This one is heavy with regret, constantly replaying past mistakes and reminding you of all the ways you could have done better.
The Monkey of “Their Expectations”: This monkey feels like it belongs to someone else, but it clings to you tightly. It’s the weight of trying to be what your parents, your boss, or your partner wants you to be.
The Monkey of “Not Enough”: This is a sneaky one. It whispers that you’re not smart enough, strong enough, or good enough, making every challenge feel like an impossible climb.
The Monkey of 'Just One More Thing': This isn’t a single heavy beast, but a chaotic swarm of smaller, hyperactive monkeys. Each one represents a task from your endless to-do list: the unanswered email, the looming deadline, the pile of laundry, the unpaid bill.
Why We Cling to Our Monkeys
It sounds simple to just “let go,” but we often hold on for a reason. Sometimes, the weight is so familiar that the thought of living without it feels strange and empty. For others, our struggles become part of our identity; who would we be without them? We might even feel a false sense of responsibility, believing that we are required to carry these burdens forever.
But the truth is, you were not meant to be a beast of burden. You were meant to walk freely. Your natural state is one of lightness, not weight. Releasing these monkeys isn’t about forgetting your past or ignoring your responsibilities. It’s about changing your relationship with them. It’s about deciding what is truly yours to carry, and what can finally be set free.
How to Guide Your Monkeys to the Trees
True release doesn’t come from fighting or pushing the weight away. That just creates more tension. The real path to freedom is a gentler one, rooted in acknowledgment and permission.
Acknowledge Them Without Judgment: The first step is to simply turn around and look at them. See them for what they are: stories, fears, past stressors, and traumas, and old energy. Name them. “Hello, Monkey of ‘What If?’” By seeing them clearly, you take away their power to hide in the shadows of your mind.
Give Yourself Permission to Release: This is the most crucial step. You must consciously decide that you have carried them long enough and that you are ready to let them go. Sometimes we get use to the weight of the monkeys and become fearful of what it will feel like without them. Imagine however the comfort, ease, and potential for good things once you let them go.
Befriend the One That Remains: Sometimes, one “monkey” needs to stay. It might represent a valuable life lesson, a memory you need to honor, or a responsibility you choose to keep. But it doesn’t have to be a burden. You can transform it. Imagine it becoming small, light, and wise. It is now a tiny, gentle companion that sits easily on your shoulder, offering wisdom instead of weight.
Ready to Feel Lighter?
Reading about this is the first step, but experiencing it is where true transformation happens. The subconscious mind, where these burdens are stored, responds powerfully to metaphor and guided imagery.
To help you on this journey, I have created a deeply relaxing guided meditation session based on this very theme. It is a gentle, safe space for you to finally meet, release, and reframe the burdens you’ve been carrying. If you are ready to feel the weight lift from your shoulders and stand up taller, I invite you to experience it for yourself.
If your monkeys continue to cling, consider talking to a licensed therapist to uncover why they are holding on. You may also want to try hypnotherapy or Accelerated Resolution Therapy to help you understand your monkeys and help you release them.
Click here to listen to my guided meditation: “Get The Monkeys Off Your Back” on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2B8MfRBDWGI
Remember, you don’t have to carry everything. You can be strong and you can be light at the same time. The trees are waiting. Are you ready to let go?
Listen to the companion podcast from this blog:
