The Myth of One-Size-Fits-All Happiness
If you look at social media, watch television, listen to the radio, or read magazines then you may have been the target of the "happiness hacks.” Self-help influencers, gurus, well intentioned bloggers =), and even goodhearted friends and family all seem to have the “magic formula.” But here's the thing they often forget to mention: Happiness is incredibly personal and subjective. What sparks joy for one person might leave another feeling completely flat.
Have you ever watched a friend's idea of "relaxation" and thought, "That looks exhausting!"? One person's de-stress activity, like a long run, is another's workout. And while a meditation retreat might be a dream for some, it's another person’s worst nightmare.
That's why those "10 Steps to Instant Happiness" lists can be misleading. They're not inherently bad and you can absolutely glean valuable insights and discover new ideas from them, but it’s ok if a particular tip doesn't resonate with you. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, are broken, or that the advice was worthless. It simply means it wasn't the right fit for your unique brand of happiness. So instead of falling into the myth of one-size-fits-all happiness let us focus on being open to our own journey in what brings us the innermost joy, and remember that happiness is subjective. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Experimentation, Not Perfection
There is one thing that can apply to most people when it comes to happiness and that is allowing yourself to explore what makes you feel good. Give yourself permission to explore and discover what truly makes you happy, knowing that it might not happen overnight. It’s normal that what once sparked joy may change, and happiness is a feeling that comes and goes. Allow your happiness to be fluid and let go of perfection. If you were to follow every type of advice on how to feel happy, you’d be overwhelmed and overrun so it’s ok to choose a few that work best for you.
The “Quick” and “Easy” Red Flag
Be especially cautious about "quick fixes" that involve supplements, expensive programs, bold claims about a cure, or anything that feels too good to be true. There are plenty of people out there who prioritize profit over well-being and just because someone is an “expert,” doesn’t mean that they have your best interests in mind.
Be kind to yourself if you have fallen prey to any of these hoaxes as it’s understandable that you just wanted to feel better, happier, healthier, sexier, thinner, or whatever else you were seeking to feel. Use your past experiences as a guide and be wary of “guaranteed” solutions. A healthy dose of skepticism can help you navigate those overly confident claims.
Find Your Own Happiness
True happiness isn't a destination; it's a journey of self-discovery. It's about figuring out what truly lights you up and creating a life that aligns with your values and passions. So, instead of feeling like you must live someone else's definition of happiness, focus on exploring your own. Ask yourself:
What activities make me lose track of time?
What kind of environment makes me feel most at ease?
What values are most important to me?
What has brought me happiness that I can reconnect with?
What doesn’t bring me happiness, and what is the opposite of that?
When you know what truly lights you up, whether it's the feeling of accomplishment after finishing a challenging hike, the spark of connection during a deep conversation, or the quiet contentment of creating something with your hands, those moments become your personalized guideposts. Your answers to those questions can help point you toward experiences that resonate with your core values and bring genuine joy, not just fleeting happiness.
Guidance Along the Way
Sometimes, navigating the twists and turns of a happiness journey can be challenging. That's where a therapist can be an invaluable guide. They can provide a safe space to explore thoughts and feelings, help identify patterns that might be holding you back, and equip you with tools to build a more fulfilling life. Think of it as having a personal coach for your well-being, someone who can offer objective insights and support as you uncover your unique path to happiness. They can also help you differentiate between fleeting moments of pleasure and the deeper, more sustainable sense of joy that comes from living in alignment with your values.
In conclusion, consider your happiness a personal garden you nurture. It's a space where you cultivate joy, and like any garden, it requires tending. Allow yourself the time to plant different seeds of experience, to see what blossoms into lasting fulfillment. Some will thrive, others may not, and that's a natural part of growth. Don't be afraid to prune away what no longer serves your well-being and remember that even the most vibrant gardens have seasons of rest and quiet reflection. Your garden, like your happiness, is ever evolving, a unique sanctuary that reflects the beauty of your own personal growth. And lastly, remember to be wary of those who peddle beans that grow overnight and that your happiness garden may look different that someone else's but it will still be beautiful and uniquely yours.